Funny Mom Poems

child and mom reading together

Kids always enjoy a good chuckle, and humorous poems about moms can help them learn to appreciate poetry. In fact, these poems might even provide children with a little creative inspiration to write some original, light-hearted poems about their moms.

Four Funny Mom Poems

The following poems are written from a child's point of view.

A Frog for Mom

Child holding green frog.

Hello there, Mom,
I brought you this frog.
I found him near the pond,
Just sitting on a log.

He's such a beautiful,
Bright sticky green.
Isn't he the coolest thing
That you've ever seen?

You can carry him in your pocket,
Just the way I do.
You'll just have to wipe it out
When he makes a little poo.

And you'll have to feed him flies
And a lot of other bugs,
And then let him play in water,
And give him plenty of kisses and hugs.

Isn't this the greatest present that
I've ever brought to you?
Say, Mom, why are you running away?
Guess I'll take care of him for you.

Mom with accusing stare.

My Mom Should Have Been a Lawyer

My mom should have been a lawyer,
She has a prosecutor's stare.
She can always tell when I'm lying,
So I confess, but I don't think it's fair.

Why can't she be like other kids' moms,
so I can pull the wool over her eyes,
And get away with all kinds of things,
And not get caught telling lies?

Mommy's New Haircut

Woman with haircut.

Mommy fell asleep in her chair,
And I thought it would be fun to cut her hair.
A little snip here, a bigger cut there,
And Mommy's lap was full of hair.

When she stirred and started to wake,
I realized I made a big mistake.
So out of the room I quietly sneaked,
But I didn't get far before Mommy shrieked.

Somehow she knew who had done the deed,
And she headed to my room at break-neck speed.
I said, "Hey, Mom, I love your new haircut,"
Hoping to avoid a crack on my butt.

My Mom wasn't buying my act at all,
And she put me in the corner, face to the wall.
So here I stand contemplating my crime,
Wondering how long I'll have to do time.

The moral of this story is
If your mom falls asleep,
Keep your hands off those scissors,
Or you'll be in trouble deep.

Advice from My Mom

Boy combing hair

Wash your face and comb your hair.
Make sure you put on clean underwear.
Cross your T's and dot your I's.
If you run with scissors you'll poke out your eyes.

Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you.
You're gonna fall down if you don't tie your shoe.
Sit there until you eat everything on your plate.
Get ready for school, or you're gonna be late.

I don't know if you "can," but yes, you "may."
Uncross your eyes, or they'll stay that way.
Wash your hands or you'll catch a disease.
If you sleep with that dog, you're gonna get fleas.

My mom drives me crazy with all her advice,
But whatever she says always makes me think twice,
Like what she said when I tried to pet the gator at the zoo,
"Do you want to get eaten? Get off that fence, Hugh!

Come to think of it, her advice always makes sense.
Guess I really shouldn't take any offense.
I'll admit it's a tough job trying to keep me alive,
So I'll take her advice, and not poke that beehive.

More Humorous Poems About Moms

The fun doesn't stop here. There are even more funny poems that make mom the center of attention. Here are a few that you shouldn't miss.

  • Never Ask Your Mom - This poem shows you can wind up with a lot more than you bargain for if you dare ask your mom what you can do when you're bored.
  • Please Mum? - One child learns what happens when you bug your mom too much.
  • For the Mom Who Does Everything - Moms take care of their kids, but exactly when is that job supposed to end?
  • Mother Doesn't Want a Dog - An intrepid little gift giver comes to realize mom may not want a dog, but she'll like the gift she's about to get even less.
  • Swiss-Army Mother - What's the perfect, do-it-all appliance? Mom, of course!

Share a Laugh Together

Poems that poke a little good-natured fun at moms and motherhood can be even more entertaining when they're shared. Plan to spend time reading these poems and enjoying a giggle together.

Funny Mom Poems